I realize that you aren't supposed to ask a woman how much she weighs. I'm sure there's an etiquette person somewhere frowning on me because I'm about to disclose my weight here. But I need to. I need to say it out loud, to see it written and for the accountability that comes with sharing that I have weight to lose.
The number I'm going to post will probably be surprising. Every time I tell someone they look at me like I'm a crazy person. But I promise it's real. I had a fitness assessment two weeks ago today. And I couldn't ignore the number that glared back at me. I can hear some of you in my head telling me that I look fine or even pretty. And I know some of you will rush to tell me that a lot of it is muscle because I run so much. That is true. But I can't claim it's all muscle. Just like I can't blame it on being leftover pregnancy weight (wait maybe I could, I mean Jesse is only 12).
The truth is I've always struggled with my weight. Not in a huge way, but in smaller ways. I've never been extremely overweight, but I've always had a little extra. And for the past several years it has crept up 2 and 3 pounds a year. Last year was more like 5 - 7 pounds. Yes, it was a very stressful year, but I can't keep buying in to these excuses or I'll never reach my goal.
I'd like to point out that I don't have an unrealistic body image. I know that I'm not out of shape or obese. But I also know that I want more for myself. And I want to free up the time I spend worrying about losing 20 pounds to do other things. As importantly, I want to run faster. Besides speedwork, I know losing weight is probably the best way to get faster.
So here it is - I weigh 188 pounds. The scale actually said 190, but 2 pounds were subtracted for my clothes and shoes. It is interesting that, while I haven't lost a lot of weight from running, I have changed shapes. I've worn a size 10 jeans for the last 8 years. When I had Jesse, I weighed somewhere in the range of 195. I can't believe I've let myself get this close to how much I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant. It's unacceptable.
Food is my problem. Clearly, I burn plenty of calories running and working out. The problem is I know how hard I work and how many calories I burn, so I have no problem justifying a dessert or two. For the last two weeks, I've been tracking my calories and let me tell you, it's pretty obvious how I gained weight. Tracking food has definitely lead me to making better choices. And I've lost a couple pounds already.
During the fitness assessment, I also learned good things about my self. My level of cardio endurance is better than about 90% of my peers. I also have really strong core muscles. However, my percent of body fat was not pretty. I'm also about as flexible as a steel beam, but that I blame on genetics.
The first goal I've given myself is to weigh 175 on October 20 (the day of my next marathon). By the end of 2013 I want to weigh 165. And my final goal would be in the 150s by March 2014. I have other goals like eat 3 servings of vegetables a day. Some of you will say that seems easy, but track your veggie intake for a few days (and no fries don't count) you just might be surprised.
Speaking of marathons, I need some help. I ran my first marathon in 2011 as a part of Team in Training (TNT). I loved it. The support on the course from other TNT people was outstanding. I felt like I had a personal cheer team the whole race. But more importantly, I helped raise money to find a cure for blood cancers. All funds raised through TNT go to support the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's mission - to cure blood cancer and give support to patients. My personal goal is to raise $5,000 by the Nike Women's marathon. Please support me and LLS by making a donation here.