Weighing in

I realize that you aren't supposed to ask a woman how much she weighs.  I'm sure there's an etiquette person somewhere frowning on me because I'm about to disclose my weight here.  But I need to.  I need to say it out loud, to see it written and for the accountability that comes with sharing that I have weight to lose.

The number I'm going to post will probably be surprising.  Every time I tell someone they look at me like I'm a crazy person. But I promise it's real.  I had a fitness assessment two weeks ago today.  And I couldn't ignore the number that glared back at me.  I can hear some of you in my head telling me that I look fine or even pretty.  And I know some of you will rush to tell me that a lot of it is muscle because I run so much.  That is true.  But I can't claim it's all muscle.  Just like I can't blame it on being leftover pregnancy weight (wait maybe I could, I mean Jesse is only 12).  

The truth is I've always struggled with my weight.  Not in a huge way, but in smaller ways.  I've never been extremely overweight, but I've always had a little extra.  And for the past several years it has crept up 2 and 3 pounds a year.  Last year was more like 5 - 7 pounds.  Yes, it was a very stressful year, but I can't keep buying in to these excuses or I'll never reach my goal.  

I'd like to point out that I don't have an unrealistic body image.  I know that I'm not out of shape or obese.  But I also know that I want more for myself.  And I want to free up the time I spend worrying about losing 20 pounds to do other things.  As importantly,  I want to run faster.  Besides speedwork, I know losing weight is probably the best way to get faster.  

So here it is - I weigh 188 pounds.  The scale actually said 190, but 2 pounds were subtracted for my clothes and shoes.  It is interesting that, while I haven't lost a lot of weight from running, I have changed shapes.  I've worn a size 10 jeans for the last 8 years.  When I had Jesse, I weighed somewhere in the range of 195.  I can't believe I've let myself get this close to how much I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant.  It's unacceptable.

Food is my problem.  Clearly, I burn plenty of calories running and working out.  The problem is I know how hard I work and how many calories I burn, so I have no problem justifying a dessert or two. For the last two weeks, I've been tracking my calories and let me tell you, it's pretty obvious how I gained weight.  Tracking food has definitely lead me to making better choices.  And I've lost a couple pounds already.

During the fitness assessment, I also learned good things about my self.  My level of cardio endurance is better than about 90% of my peers.  I also have really strong core muscles.  However, my percent of body fat was not pretty.  I'm also about as flexible as a steel beam, but that I blame on genetics.

The first goal I've given myself is to weigh 175 on October 20 (the day of my next marathon).  By the end of 2013 I want to weigh 165.  And my final goal would be in the 150s by March 2014.  I have other goals like eat 3 servings of vegetables a day.  Some of you will say that seems easy, but track your veggie intake for a few days (and no fries don't count) you just might be surprised.  

Speaking of marathons, I need some help.  I ran my first marathon in 2011 as a part of Team in Training (TNT).  I loved it.  The support on the course from other TNT people was outstanding.  I felt like I had a personal cheer team the whole race.  But more importantly, I helped raise money to find a cure for blood cancers.  All funds raised through TNT go to support the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's mission - to cure blood cancer and give support to patients.  My personal goal is to raise $5,000 by the Nike Women's marathon.  Please support me and LLS by making a donation here.